‘So no-one told you life was gonna be this way…’
I didn’t realise until I had my boys how much being a part of the ‘Mum club’ would define my daily life and those who are in it!! Sure, I knew things would change for me with being a stay at home Mum and my life now revolving around the munchkins and what they need to be doing, but what I hadn’t counted on was how important my new ‘Mummy friends’ would become, and continue to be.
We moved out of London when our first son was about 9 months old – for more space, better schools, blah, blah, same as everyone else! – and I have been extremely lucky to have found a totally awesome bunch of friends here where I live now and I love them all dearly. It was a bit like being a kid again myself and having to find and make new friends as we moved to an area where we had no previous connections. I was back on the market and looking for a new gang!
You will all know the feeling of meeting someone and, while they are perfectly nice, they just aren’t your cup of tea… (cue awkward excuses to get out of playdates with them and their hideous child!)… so it’s hard to describe how great it feels to have found people who I genuinely like (and who I think like me back…!), who I want to spend time with, who I can confide in, who understand, who get it (…’it’ being this craziness we call ‘parenting’ which is often a nice way of saying ‘hovering on the brink of insanity’…!), who are caring and helpful, who are funny and fun, who are good parents themselves so I can steal their daily life hacks to make my own home better and happier … And best of all, they have such lovely kids that my kids love playing with theirs and they are also really good friends. Which, let’s face it, is priceless as so often, whilst the parents might be lovely people, their kids are sometimes an utter nightmare and exactly the sort of kids you don’t want your little ones hanging around and learning all of their bad habits and horrendous behaviour!
One of my friends calls it ‘the tribe’ and I love it! A group of crazies we are, with a common daily aim to get to the end of the day with everyone intact and no tears shed… but if it does all go tits up, which is more often than not the case!, the ‘tribe’ are there to help, lend support and text me amusing quotes from the internet which usually revolve around drowning in a bucket of prosecco or something about Ryan Gosling and his undeniable beauty…
I’m not saying that my ‘non-Mummy friends’ are less important, or not as good friends anymore, but, perhaps controversially, I think we are experiencing different things day to day at this point, and so they probably don’t get it yet. Also they probably don’t give a shit about the tantrum one kid had over Hey Duggee finishing on CBeebies while the other one drew all over the walls and blamed it on a squirrel… but Mummy friends do.
They feel my pain, they understand, they’ve been there, done it and come out the other side, and they save my sanity time and time again. With a knowing look, an unexpected hug when they see my face and know it’s one of ‘those days’, with an ‘I understand’, a ‘me too’, a ‘don’t worry, I get it’, with a stealth delivery of chocolate at the school gate because ‘I thought you might need it today’, with a ‘call me if you need me’. While our children and our families are our everything, sometimes you need more than that and a way to escape the responsibilities of being Mum… something, or someone, just for you, and for me my friends are exactly that.
At this time of year where we gearing up to spend time with family and loved ones, where celebrations and nights out are planned, and where we reflect on the year that has passed and all that has happened, I for one am exceptionally thankful for my tribe of Mummy friends. We all have those friends, well I hope you all do, and to me, they are what make my every day into good days, my nights out filled with laughter, my heart full and my soul happy.
I would be lost without them. You know who you are girls. xx
‘I’ll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour.
I’ll be there for you, like I’ve been there before.
I’ll be there for you, cause you’re there for me too.’