Rage against the…well anything really. Mostly Mummy!

Yesterday I spent a lovely morning with my two year old, a friend and her little one at a local farm and soft play.  Good fun in the soft play, no injuries, no accidents, it was all going swimmingly… The time came to leave…still all well…shoes and coats were put on…still all well… and then I said to little man “Lets change your nappy quickly before leave”… que MELTDOWN OF EPIC PROPORTIONS!!!

Dragged him to the baby changing (screaming)…changed his nappy (still screaming)…returned to soft play area to collect friends (still screaming)… tried to leave (which prompted a bit of rolling around on the floor screaming)…eventually left with him hauled over my shoulder (still screaming)…into the car (eventually as he puts up a bloody good fight…while still screaming)…drove home (now screaming less, interspersed by some whimpering)… got home and got out of car (started screaming again)…entered house and left said two year old on the lounge floor to get on with it (still screaming, obvs!).

We are talking about a good hour (minimum) of screaming, simply because I decided that leaving him to sit in his own sh!t was probably not very nice. What a hideous mother I am!!!…

He suddenly appears by my side in the kitchen, completely calm and normal, and says, “Look Mummy I’ve stopped crying. Sorry ‘bout that. Can I have some lunch?”

**Mother bangs her head against the wall. Repeatedly.**

The ridiculousness of it all, over a nappy change, led me to think about all the other ridiculous things he has kicked off about over recent weeks… and it is quite a list…

  1. Having to put socks on
  2. Not wearing any socks
  3. Wearing a coat
  4. Being stopped from running into the road
  5. Not liking the fact that Mr Maker was on CBeebies when the TV was turned on
  6. Finishing his toast
  7. Having to climb the stairs behind his brother
  8. The car door being wet (!!)
  9. The road being bumpy underneath his scooter
  10. Having his nose wiped
  11. Not being allowed to wear his muddy welly boots to bed
  12. His new toy sword not fitting in his pocket
  13. Being given blackcurrant squash instead of orange
  14. Being offered an umbrella in the rain
  15. The button already having been pressed at the green man crossing

I could go on, but you get the jist!!

In conclusion, the boy is an absolute lunatic. Or I guess he’s just being a two year old, overcome by life and emotions. And let’s face it, being two is tough! 😉

If anyone else out that is going through this rather testing (read: shitty!!) time, you’re not alone. I feel your pain. Let’s power through and hope there is wine and a more sane child somewhere in the near future. xx

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